Idealogian

Security Breach - An Idealogian Exclusive Investigative Report

Since 9/11, the level of security in downtown New York has been consistently high. Or has it? This special investigative report will make you question everything you ever thought you knew about security.

Within months of the attack against the World Trade Center, which took place only a few short blocks from my office, new security regulations were implemented at my company's headquarters, including the presence of bomb-sniffing dogs and the requirement that all bags entering the building be placed through an x-ray scanner. But have these measures been effective? Are they even being properly executed? Or are they just lulling us into a dangerously false sense of security?

Last week, only two weeks after a renewed threat warning to New York's financial institutions, I decided to try to answer some of these questions. What I found will shock you.

In preparation for a friend's wedding, I packed up my bag with my full set of juggling supplies, including my three clubs and three knives:

Yes, they're sharp; yes, they're heavy; and yes, they can cut. Armed with this veritable arsenal of dangerous weapons, I calmly entered the building and placed my bag on the conveyer belt going into the scanner, as this hidden camera photo shows:

I was astounded and dismayed to see that the bag passed through virtually unnoticed by the attendant, and I was allowed to enter the building, no questions asked. Had I been a terrorist, I could have proceeded to any of the workplace floors and begun beheading people at whim, leaving a path of bloody havoc and destruction in my wake.

And what was the reaction of the security forces to this horrific breach? Absolutely nothing. In fact, the chief of building security wasn't even reached for comment.

^*

Having answered the questions posed at the beginning of this report, there is but one question left to answer: will this disgraceful conduct be improved before it's too late?

* Dramatization; this is actually a photo of my own hand and has very little to do with anything. I just figured that no exposé is complete without a "hand-in-the-camera" shot.

P.S. Though the tone of this piece is greatly exaggerated, it's actually entirely true; and yes, the knives really can cut.