Idealogian

Die Duckomenta

Unbeknownst to many, Donald (and Mickey as well, to a lesser degree) has been the subject of some impressive artwork throughout the ages. (Foreign language site, but exploration is pretty intuitive.)

Lamb of God

I'm currently reading Life of Pi (because, you know, I need something to fill up all my spare time). It's good so far, though I haven't yet gotten into the thick of it. At this point, the title character is discovering religion. Or, I should say, religions, since he eventually becomes an adherent to Hinduism, Christianity and Islam. When he first learns about Christianity, Pi (short for "Piscine"), whose father is a zookeeper, observes:

Catholics have a reputation for severity, for judgment that comes down heavily. My experience with Father Martin was not at all like that. He was very kind. He served me tea and biscuits in a tea set that tinkled and rattled at every touch; he treated me like a grown?up; and he told me a story. Or rather, since Christians are so fond of capital letters, a Story.

And what a story. The first thing that drew me in was disbelief. What? Humanity sins but it's God's Son who pays the price? I tried to imagine Father saying to me, "Piscine, a lion slipped into the llama pen today and killed two llamas. Yesterday another one killed a black buck. Last week two of them ate the camel. The week before it was painted storks and grey herons. And who's to say for sure who snacked on our golden agouti? The situation has become intolerable. Something must be done. I have decided that the only way the lions can atone for their sins is if I feed you to them."

"Yes, Father, that would be the right and logical thing to do. Give me a moment to wash up."

"Hallelujah, my son."

"Hallelujah, Father."

What a downright weird story. What peculiar psychology.

Not that Judaism always makes sense, but it isn't usually quite that bad.

Math Quiz

Man Pleads Guilty in Google Stock Swindle

[Shamoon Rafiq] pleaded guilty yesterday to promising wealthy New Yorkers an inside track to stock in Google and blazing through $350,000 of their money in a three-month spree of five-star hotels, expensive restaurants and Atlantic City gambling.

. . .

Mr. Rafiq could be sentenced to more than five years in prison under the terms of his agreement with prosecutors, two years less than he might have faced if he lost at trial. [Emphasis mine]

OK, now here's the question: If x - 2 > 5, where x is the number of years Mr. Rafiq "might have faced if he lost at trial," what is the value of x? Sort of hard to tell from here, so let's do some more research.

The US Department of Justice Press Release states, "If convicted, the defendant faces a maximum sentence of 30 years imprisonment." I suppose 28 years is indeed "more than five years," but I would think the AP could have been a little more precise.

The Reuven Weiser Weight Loss Program™

The fundamental principle of weight loss is that in order to lose weight, one needs to burn more calories (energy) than one consumes. Let's start with a definition of the term - a calorie is "the amount of heat necessary to raise the temperature of one gram of water by one degree Celsius." Thus, a gram of water that has been raised one degree in temperature has been infused with one calorie of heat energy. (I am being slightly imprecise here - it takes a different amount of energy to raise water from 0^o to 1^o than it does to raise it from 50^o to 51^o - but that's a minor detail.)

Continuing with this line of reasoning, taking a cup of water (approximately 236 grams) at the freezing point (0^o C) and raising it to the boiling point (100^o C) would mean infusing approximately 23,600 calories into that single glass of water. Inversely then, lowering a boiling cup of water to the freezing point would release that same amount of energy from the water.

"Hold on a second," I can almost hear you saying. "23,600 calories in a glass of water? That can't be! The recommended daily calorie intake is only 2000 calories!" Right you are, sharp-minded reader. The catch lies in ambiguous terminology. What we generally refer to as a "Calorie" (capital 'C') is actually a kilocalorie - 1000 calories. Thus, in our terminology, a cup of water at the boiling point has around 24 Calories more than one at the freezing point.

Regardless, now that we've got the background (and all the hard math) out of the way, let's get down to business. What we've just proven scientifically and mathematically is that cold food has fewer calories than hot food. The obvious secret to weight loss, then, is to consume all of your food as cold as possible. Instead of a hot coffee, have iced coffee. When you take that frozen TV dinner out of the freezer, don't microwave it; just down it as-is.

But most importantly, and this is the key to entire proposition, is a renewed emphasis on some of the coldest foods known to man - those belonging to the category known as "frozen desserts," including, but not limited to, ice cream, sorbet, ices, sherbet and frozen yogurt. In the Reuven Weiser Weight Loss Program™, these foods become the staple of a healthy diet, the new base of the food pyramid. Furthermore, it is preferable for the ice cream to have various chunks (e.g., nuts, chocolate, toffee) as they are more dense and therefore have a higher specific heat, making their frigid temperatures more calorically significant.

All I need now is a catchy name and this could be the next Atkins or South Beach! Any suggestions? ("Ice Cream Diet" is already taken by another plan.)

(Alternatively, if you don't have a freezer or find that you frequently suffer ice cream headaches, you can buy my book, "Limb Amputation: Weight Loss in One Easy Step.")

Filmwise

For the first time, I was able to get all the Filmwise Invisibles by myself (with a touch of assistance from Google for #1). Ironically (again) it is a sports edition. Also interesting is that out of the eight, I've seen only #3 and #4 (and parts of #5 when it was on HBO).

In any case, here are the answers: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7 and #8.

Biased Reporting at the Wall Street Journal

Reveille Has Its Fans, But for Late Risers 9-to-5 Days Are a Pain

Of all the gulfs in understanding at the office, among the most difficult to bridge is that between morning and night people. On the one hand, think bushy-tailed company lawyers who eat lunch at 11 a.m. On the other, consider the bleary-eyed techies for whom the only thing as bad as waking up early is the people who enjoy it so loudly.

The conflict between the morning larks and the night owls would be the office equivalent of the Bloods versus the Crips if, at any given time, one gang weren't so pooped.

An interesting article overall, but blatantly biased. First, the characterizations play off stereotypes. Not all techies are bleary-eyed, just as not all lawyers are bushy-tailed.

But moreso, the reporter could have just as easily written:

On the one hand, think dedicated techies who consistently work late into the night to complete their projects. On the other, consider company lawyers who run out of steam the moment the clock hits 5.

And this in an article about "gulfs in understanding!"

Thanks for the link, Dad!

Framing Philosophy

Those of you who ride the New York City subways may have seen the ads for The School of Practical Philosophy, which promises "an effective and novel approach to the great questions of life" such as "Who am I?" and "What am I doing here?"

Those of you who watch The Simpsons may already know that you can get answers to those very questions, along with a pair of straightening gloves and a canister of wall lubricant, in a good frame-nudging seminar.

King is Dead

Alan King, Comic With Chutzpah, Dies at 76

Both his parents were Russian immigrants, and as he recalled in his autobiography, "Name-Dropping: The Life and Lies of Alan King" (Scribner, 1996), when he took his mother, Minnie, to see "Fiddler on the Roof," he thought the fictional village of Anatevka might bring back memories of her own childhood village. "And when the show was over and we were back on the street," Mr. King wrote, "I said, 'Ma, how did you enjoy it? Did it bring back memories?' 'It was wonderful,' she said. 'Only I don't remember so much singing.' "

WDD (Wonder Deficit Disorder)

A co-worker pointed out that NASA has redesigned its Mars rover website. I wonder what it says about our society that photographs and videos (including this stunning Martian sunset) from an alien planet aren't enough to keep us interested. We need to put it all up on a snazzy web site with spinning planets and flashing buttons.

I suspect it only confirms one of my favorite quotes, from G. K. Chesterton (appearing with slight variation throughout the web):

"We grow arid not for lack of wonders, but for lack of wonder."

Hirschfeld Archive

The New York Times nina has up a great archive of over nina 100 works of the late, great Al Hirschfeld. Unfortunately, nina most of the images are too small to be much fun nina, but they're still nice to look at. nina

CD Care

There's an interesting article on CNN about the mortality of CDs (and DVDs). Seems it's not as unthinkable as many of us think that the aluminum layer that reflects the laser's light will become damaged. There are a lot of useful tips, including this surprising fact:

Part of the problem is that most people believe that it's the clear underside of the CD that is fragile, when in fact it's the side with the label. Scratches on the underside have to be fairly deep to cause skipping, while scratches on the top can easily penetrate to the aluminum layer. Even the pressure of a pen on the label side can dent the aluminum, rendering the CD unreadable.

Overheard in the Elevator

Man: Going home?

Woman: Yes. Today's my granddaughter's birthday and I want to be there for her [half a pause] cake.

And on the same trip down, when we stopped on the 4^th floor, one man in a suit turned to three others:

Man in suit: Let's get out here, shall we, gentlemen? And go up instead of down?

Cause and Effect

Spanking May Lead to Behavioral Problems Later

Researchers from the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health have discovered that children who are spanked before the age of 2 are more likely to have behavioral problems years later when they enter grade school.

"Spanking children under the age of 2 puts those children into a higher risk group for behavioral problems later," says Eric P. Slade, assistant professor at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and co-author of a study appearing in this month's issue of Pediatrics.

. . .

Spanking may be ... stigmatizing, and frequent spanking before the age of 2 may stem from factors like high parent stress.

"Parents who are stressed out or angry are more likely to expose their children to that anger," says Slade.

The white mothers who spanked their toddlers also had lower annual incomes, less education and were more likely to suffer from depression.

Unless the article is leaving out some important facts of the study, I see no reason to make spanking part of the whole equation. Simply put, parents with lower incomes and suffering from depression are more likely to be stressed out or angry, and "parents who are stressed out or angry are more likely to expose their children to that anger" (in many ways, not just through spanking). Thus, it's not the spanking that "puts those children into a higher risk group for behavioral problems later;" it's the bad parenting.

In other words, it seems more likely to me that spanking isn't so much the cause of the problem as it is a symptom of a common problem.