Idealogian

ESP (Elephant Sensory Perception)

About a year ago, my niece approached me with her hands behind her back and a challenge:

Her: Guess what I have behind my back!

Me: I don't know. What do you have?

Her: Guess what it is!

Me: I don't know what it is - it really could be anything!

Her: Guess!

Me: OK, fine. I don't know... umm... an elephant?

Her: Right.

She then showed me the pocket-sized, plastic, pink pachyderm she had been holding in her hand, behind her back. Being only 5 and failing to see the irony of the situation, she simply walked away, unimpressed by my astounding "guess." I, however, decided that elephants must be the answer to all of life's questions. From then on, I vowed, whenever I was asked to guess anything, I would go with "elephant."

"Guess what kind of pet I have."
"An elephant?"

"Guess who I saw in the pizza shop yesterday!"
"An elephant?"

"Guess what I made for dinner."
"An elephant?"

Sadly, it's never worked for me since that first time, and I was beginning to doubt myself. That is, until this weekend, when it finally paid off. (OK, so it didn't exactly "pay off" - it's not like I won anything, other than the respect and undying admiration of my friends.)

At dinner Friday night, a friend commented that he'd seen something strange last week and asked us to guess what it had been. Everyone else took their random guesses, all wrong. I went with my standard - "an elephant" - and was pleased when my friend responded with an amazed, "Exactly!" Seems he had been on 34^th St. when the circus marched into town, including its usual pachyderm procession.

My faith in elephants has been restored! They really are the answer to everything!

Except maybe dinner.