Idealogian

Cuddly Commander in Chief

A Winning Kerry Loosens Up, and Crowds React

When Mr. Kerry was a boy his favorite movie was "Scaramouche," the story of the French Revolution swashbuckler who was "born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad." As a lonely 11-year-old in a Swiss boarding school, or a Navy lieutenant in the Mekong Delta of Vietnam, or a senator from Massachusetts and a presidential contender, Mr. Kerry has seldom lacked a sense that the world is mad. The gift of laughter has come harder.

He will still never be cuddly. [Emphasis mine] He is too tall, too gaunt, too lantern-jawed, too serious for that. His Iowa caucuses victory speech was solemn and windy, and he sat watching the Super Bowl on Sunday night with a band of firefighters from Fargo, N.D., whose union has endorsed him, tapping his right thumb and forefinger nervously against his teeth without making much effort to converse or connect.

This got me wondering if we've ever had a president who was cuddly. None really come to mind, except maybe Grover Cleveland, but that's probably just because of the association.

But what if we did have more cuddly and "wuvable" presidents? How might history have been different?

• Abraham Lincoln: "Mr. Booth! Mr...! [tee hee] Hey, stop tickling me! I said [hee] sto...! Aaaaahhhh!" (as he falls from the balcony of Ford's Theatre)

• Ronald Reagan: "Now Mr. Gorbachev, as much as I'm in favor of improving relations between our two countries, I'm gonna have to ask you to get off my lap."

• Bill Clinton: "... but I did snuggle with that woman quite a bit." [Oh wait, that probably did happen.]