Idealogian

Mitzvah

You Don't Have to Be Jewish To Want a Bar Mitzvah Party

After going to a dozen bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs last year, Laura Jean Stargardt told her parents she wanted one of her own. She said she found the singing inspiring and offered to learn Hebrew. She also said she wanted a big party.

Her parents thought the request was unusual since the family is Methodist. But they co-hosted a lavish party for her and two of her friends last month that looked like a bat mitzvah, without the religion. They booked a country club in Dallas and a disk jockey, invited 125 friends, and hired a professional dancer that Laura had seen at her friends' bar mitzvah parties.

"I wanted to be Jewish so I could have a bat mitzvah," says Laura. "Having the party fulfilled that."

Obviously these kids have a skewed perspective on what it means to be Jewish. But that's sort of to be expected from non-Jewish kids (and probably from most non-Jewish adults and, sadly, Jewish kids as well).

But more disturbing is the "contrasting" viewpoint presented in the article - the expression of what it's really supposed to mean to be a bar/bat mitzvah:

The bar mitzvah is actually an ancient, solemn event marking the coming of age of a Jewish male, undertaken after study of Jewish history, traditions and Hebrew. Bat mitzvahs, for girls, are a more recent phenomenon. Typically, children start intense preparations about a year before the event, spending several hours each week learning to read from the Torah -- the scroll containing the Five Books of Moses -- and sometimes writing a speech and doing charity work.

. . .

Many rabbis are quick to point out that the parties have little in common with the real thing. "Bar and bat mitzvahs are about accepting adult responsibility in the community," says Rabbi Richard Block, senior rabbi of The Temple-Tifereth Israel, in Cleveland. "If non-Jews are going to emulate their Jewish neighbors, better they emulate the enduring values of Jewish tradition than the material excesses of contemporary life."

"History" and "traditions?" "Adult responsibility in the community?" Well, that may be part of it. But what does it really mean to be a "bar mitzvah" or a "bat mitzvah?" (Note that a boy doesn't have a bar mitzvah, though he may have a party celebrating the fact that he now is a bar mitzvah.) "Mitzvah" means "commandment;" "bar" (or the feminine "bat") in this context means "one who is subject to." Thus a bar mitzvah or a bat mitzvah is one who is now subject to (and obligated to obey) God's commandments. How is it that even the rabbi quoted in the article failed to make any mention of commandments, obligations or God? (That's a rhetorical question; it's not too hard to guess at an answer.)

Assuming this definition of bar/bat mitzvah, though, I wonder if things can perhaps be taken in an interesting direction. After all, even non-Jews are subject to several of God's commandments. (I had trouble finding a relatively normal site to link to for that one. I did my best, though I wouldn't vouch for the entire site, particularly the parts reflecting Lubavitch messianism.) At what age does their obligation begin? Is it conceivable that a non-Jew also becomes a bar mitzvah at the age of 13 or a bat mitzvah at 12?

Thanks for the link, Dad!