Idealogian

U.N. Votes to Dismantle Great Wall of China

UNITED NATIONS (Idealogian) -- On the heels of its earlier demand that Israel halt construction of its security barrier, the United Nations General Assembly today approved a resolution calling for the dismantling of the Great Wall of China. Long viewed as one of China's national treasures, the Wall has recently come under attack for being outdated and archaic.

U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan welcomed the move. "It is a well-documented historical fact that this wall was built and made strong simply in order to keep out the foreigners. Such a horrific symbol of bigotry and xenophobia has no place in the modern era of multiculturalism, multinationalism and appeaseme-, er, peace."

The resolution's approval was lauded by its sponsors, the Mongols and Huns. They had urged the Assembly to overlook their shared history of aggression and hostility, and promised to "be nice this time." "The Wall is a relic of times past. It has lost both its military significance and its global distinctiveness," argued Mongolian Ambassador to the United Nations, Genny Kahn.

Still, the measure was not without its critics. "I fear we have begun the descent down a very slippery slope. It starts with the Great Wall, but where does it end? You or I could easily be next," said David Gilmour, lead guitarist of Pink Floyd.

Robert Frost, a well-known opponent of walls and barriers, could not be reached for comment.